Thursday, March 31, 2011

Shocking Reminder inside Men's Comfort Room!





Let me translate the message that has been written in Filipino (Tagalog):


"It is so tiring to clean this urinal! Please, while peeing make sure that no spill on the floor."

Actually I was shocked and I laughed out loud while reading the message. Ooops! Sorry, I have no intention to disobey the reminder! :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life Stages of Man

While reading this think about your life in the past? How are you right now? Are you happy? Have you accomplished things according to plan? As we get older we look at the past and sometimes we have regrets. Truly time is very precious and we only live once to fulfill what we want to become. No matter what our life right now here are the life stages of human being:

INFANCY

This is the beginning or early period of life. What we usually do is to cry just like the picture above. We could easily react from starvation and pain by expressing it through crying. Sometimes we fool our parents and pretend to be hungry or in pain without realizing it when we get older. All we have to do is cry and smile. This is the time we are becoming too observant and easily learn things. We begin to say, "Momma, Uncle"!


CHILDHOOD


This is the time of becoming playful, hyper and enjoying life without worrying much about politics and economy. You will begin to ask your parents how to make babies.


TEENAGE LIFE / ADOLESCENCE STAGE
  You are now becoming conscious on how you would look like before you go out with your friends. You want to be so attractive. You are so in love! 


ADULTHOOD / MATURITY PERIOD
You think like you know everything. You are in control of your life. You have a family of your own and all the questions you asked before are now being asked by your children. You should have many accomplishments in life. You pretend and act sometimes like a teenager. Wrinkles are starting to appear, hair loss is disgusting! 

SENIOR CITIZEN
NO! THE PICTURE ABOVE IS NOT STEVE JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It depends in the country or government that offers privileges to the oldies. You can now avail discounts and privileges for senior citizens. This is the last stage in life and you should enjoy it before the last breath. All of your children have their own respective family. 

When you will be asked if you still want to get laid and your answer would be:

"The spirit is there but the flesh is weak"

Saturday, March 27, 2010

What Is RTFM?

I had very busy and tiring moments in the past days. I have conducted technical and service training about the basic principles and how to service the products we carry in a company. I have asked them to evaluate me at the end of the presentation. I was so happy that they really appreciated the said training. They have learned a lot according to them and perhaps that was the consolation I got after the tiring 2 1/2 days of training. The only comment I got was that the laser presenter made them dizzy.

At the end of the training I have told them to always check out the manual and perhaps that is the best thing that I could impart to them and bear in their minds with the acronym, RTFM!  --- or Read The F**k**g Manual.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Not Again! When Nature Calls

Funny Pictures


I have just another embarrassing moment which I consider related as well to this humor-horror blog. It happened on 10th March this year (just few hours ago). As technical guy I was doing some configurations and fixing the fault on network in one of our clients when nature calls. I needed to go to the restroom to relax and ease my burden but it was again unfortunate not to see any tissue paper or even a dipper for washing. The absence of soap really added to my worries after comforting myself. Although it has a similarity with my previous story My Embarrassing Toilet Story this is a bit different or considered worse than previously.

I guess you want to know my remediation not in the IT-Server room but on how did I troubleshoot in the comfort room. Okay, I had seen an empty bottle of mineral water and I used it. I washed my hands for about 8 minutes with running water.

The picture above is just for illustration only. Actually he is luckier than me since he still holding the last resort ( using his magazine)! My apologies to those who read this while eating. This is just a reminder to be prepared always. Of course I will not end this post without leaving the readers some lessons we could get from this story.

Here are the tips and lessons:

1. Always bring soap or alcohol with you.
2. Always bring a dipper
3. Always bring bottled mineral water
4. Do not forget your magazine before you go to work



Sunday, February 28, 2010

Shocked During the Sunday Service



It was a sunny morning when my aunt and I had attended the Sunday service. We were late and as a result we had only managed to get seats available at the back while the pastor were giving his sermon. I was a new member in the community and actually a bit forced by my aunt to attend the so early service.
We begun to clap and raise our hands and had 2 hours of worship. It was in a deep silence and all of the members closed their eyes and the pastor asked everyone to come closer on stage. I was the only one left sitting at the back. I was undisturbed with what they were doing. All of them were kneeling at that moment when the pastor exclaimed, “Even Satan will get on his knees”. I was shocked and knelt down instantly then praise the Lord!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Letter of Confession




Dear Mr.Love,


My story begins in one rainy day. I just finished taking a bath and wrapped myself with towel. I entered into my room then seated in front of the mirror. My dad noticed me and he followed me without knocking the door then he locked it. He approached me and touched my shiny black hair. I was surprised and cannot utter words on that moment. My eyes were unintentionally closed and the tears began to fall. His hands extended the stroking all over my face and I got blushed and I thought he really appreciates my beauty or maybe had cruel intentions. I never thought that he has the hands of professional makeup artist. He confessed to me that he is gay and then we both cried because he finally admitted after over 25 years of hiding it to my mom. In fairness, he made me like a celebrity who attends Oscar Awards Night. Thanks to his expertise applied on my face and my hair.


I am really proud of my dad. We are now both happy and closer to each other than ever before.



Sincerely yours,


Robert


Monday, January 25, 2010

USING MATHEMATICS IN OUR EVERYDAY LIFE




I wonder on how we can apply all those we have learned in high school and college about mathematics especially algebra and trigonometry.

One of the good things in the country like Philippines is that as a customer in a public market you can haggle with the price down for some commodities being sold by the vendors. So aside from having a low cost of living in the said country you could still save money using your skills in making the vendor broke! LOL!

Consider the scenario on how you can apply algebra and trigonometry:

In public market:

Vendor: How many apple?

John: Give me 3x-5 when x=6

Vendor: So, here are your 13 apples sir!

John: How much all?

Vendor: It’s only 5sin90 a piece.

John: Please convert it using arc tangent.

Vendor: I just finished high school I can’t carry it. Just use 5tan45 instead then apply reduction formula.

John: Ok no problem, here’s my payment (x?2-4x+3)/sin3x where x=7, keep the change!


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