Life Stages of Man

While reading this think about your life in the past? How are you right now? Are you happy? Have you accomplished things according to plan? As we get older we look at the past and sometimes we have regrets. Truly time is very precious and we only live once to fulfill what we want to become. No matter what our life right now here are the life stages of human being:

INFANCY

This is the beginning or early period of life. What we usually do is to cry just like the picture above. We could easily react from starvation and pain by expressing it through crying. Sometimes we fool our parents and pretend to be hungry or in pain without realizing it when we get older. All we have to do is cry and smile. This is the time we are becoming too observant and easily learn things. We begin to say, "Momma, Uncle"!

CHILDHOOD

This is the time of becoming playful, hyper and enjoying life without worrying much about politics and economy. You will begin to ask your parents how to make babies.

TEENAGE LIFE / ADOLESCENCE STAGE

  You are now becoming conscious on how you would look like before you go out with your friends. You want to be so attractive. You are so in love! 

ADULTHOOD / MATURITY PERIOD

You think like you know everything. You are in control of your life. You have a family of your own and all the questions you asked before are now being asked by your children. You should have many accomplishments in life. You pretend and act sometimes like a teenager. Wrinkles are starting to appear, hair loss is disgusting! 

SENIOR CITIZEN

NO! THE PICTURE ABOVE IS NOT STEVE JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It depends in the country or government that offers privileges to the oldies. You can now avail discounts and privileges for senior citizens. This is the last stage in life and you should enjoy it before the last breath. All of your children have their own respective family. 

When you will be asked if you still want to get laid and your answer would be:

"The spirit is there but the flesh is weak"

What Is RTFM?

I had very busy and tiring moments in the past days. I have conducted technical and service training about the basic principles and how to service the products we carry in a company. I have asked them to evaluate me at the end of the presentation. I was so happy that they really appreciated the said training. They have learned a lot according to them and perhaps that was the consolation I got after the tiring 2 1/2 days of training. The only comment I got was that the laser presenter made them dizzy.

At the end of the training I have told them to always check out the manual and perhaps that is the best thing that I could impart to them and bear in their minds with the acronym, RTFM!  --- or Read The F**k**g Manual.

Not Again! When Nature Calls

I have just another embarrassing moment which I consider related as well to this humor-horror blog. It happened on 10th March this year (just few hours ago). As technical guy I was doing some configurations and fixing the fault on network in one of our clients when nature calls. I needed to go to the restroom to relax and ease my burden but it was again unfortunate not to see any tissue paper or even a dipper for washing. The absence of soap really added to my worries after comforting myself. Although it has a similarity with my previous story My Embarrassing Toilet Story this is a bit different or considered worse than previously.

I guess you want to know my remediation not in the IT-Server room but on how did I troubleshoot in the comfort room. Okay, I had seen an empty bottle of mineral water and I used it. I washed my hands for about 8 minutes with running water.

The picture above is just for illustration only. Actually he is luckier than me since he still holding the last resort ( using his magazine)! My apologies to those who read this while eating. This is just a reminder to be prepared always. Of course I will not end this post without leaving the readers some lessons we could get from this story.

Here are the tips and lessons:

1. Always bring soap or alcohol with you.

2. Always bring a dipper

3. Always bring bottled mineral water

4. Do not forget your magazine before you go to work

Shocked During the Sunday Service

It was a sunny morning when my aunt and I had attended the Sunday service. We were late and as a result we had only managed to get seats available at the back while the pastor were giving his sermon. I was a new member in the community and actually a bit forced by my aunt to attend the so early service.
We begun to clap and raise our hands and had 2 hours of worship. It was in a deep silence and all of the members closed their eyes and the pastor asked everyone to come closer on stage. I was the only one left sitting at the back. I was undisturbed with what they were doing. All of them were kneeling at that moment when the pastor exclaimed, “Even Satan will get on his knees”. I was shocked and knelt down instantly then praise the Lord!

Letter of Confession

Dear Mr.Love,

My story begins in one rainy day. I just finished taking a bath and wrapped myself with towel. I entered into my room then seated in front of the mirror. My dad noticed me and he followed me without knocking the door then he locked it. He approached me and touched my shiny black hair. I was surprised and cannot utter words on that moment. My eyes were unintentionally closed and the tears began to fall. His hands extended the stroking all over my face and I got blushed and I thought he really appreciates my beauty or maybe had cruel intentions. I never thought that he has the hands of professional makeup artist. He confessed to me that he is gay and then we both cried because he finally admitted after over 25 years of hiding it to my mom. In fairness, he made me like a celebrity who attends Oscar Awards Night. Thanks to his expertise applied on my face and my hair.

I am really proud of my dad. We are now both happy and closer to each other than ever before.

Sincerely yours,

Robert

USING MATHEMATICS IN OUR EVERYDAY LIFE

I wonder on how we can apply all those we have learned in high school and college about mathematics especially algebra and trigonometry.

One of the good things in the country like Philippines is that as a customer in a public market you can haggle with the price down for some commodities being sold by the vendors. So aside from having a low cost of living in the said country you could still save money using your skills in making the vendor broke! LOL!

Consider the scenario on how you can apply algebra and trigonometry:

In public market:

Vendor: How many apple?

John: Give me 3x-5 when x=6

Vendor: So, here are your 13 apples sir!

John: How much all?

Vendor: It’s only 5sin90 a piece.

John: Please convert it using arc tangent.

Vendor: I just finished high school I can’t carry it. Just use 5tan45 instead then apply reduction formula.

John: Ok no problem, here’s my payment (x?2-4x+3)/sin3x where x=7, keep the change!

My Little Dudu Bear!

They were saying that teddy bears and dolls are really not meant for guys and my mama told me that they're not toys for the big boys!

When I was young I used to play toy guns but recently I developed my interest with teddy bears. I must admit that I am one of the straight guys and my hanging question is .... anybody here who has an interest with stuffed toys like me especially guys? Something wrong with me?

One of my favorite bears is Little Dudu. Actually I have a blog about this cute little girl and you can follow a link here to see her company.

Little Dudu & Company

The issue here is not anymore about gender it's about my age, I'm 31 and I guess I am too old for this "stuffed"!

Please do not make fun of the picture that's not Taylor Lautner neither Jacob Black in New Moon Saga!

Year of the Tiger No More!

I do not think 2010 is the year for Tiger Woods after admitting an illicit affair with another woman. He has lost billions of dollar endorsements which comparatively higher than what he’s getting from his profession. This is the lost of the Tiger but I do not mean the lost in opportunities as one of the highest-paid commercial endorsers of our time but rather the lost of his integrity as a respected player. What can you ask for if you have a life like a tiger? Sometimes I would like to make myself believe from the saying, “For every man’s failure there’s a woman behind”. In my own understanding it is not really about the woman. The term woman symbolizes one’s weakest part that could affect to reach our success in life so ladies out there do not get mad at me. Certainly Tiger has achieved his success in golf but not in relationship.

He is just a man after all and he is not a saint to be excused from getting horny to other woman. Everybody deserves a second chance to have one more time affair, I mean a chance to recover where he slipped. I really believe that those lucky bastard professionals (not in golf but in extramarital relationship) might be disappointed why Tiger admits his extra-curricular activities. I have a friend telling me that if he was in the shoes of Tiger he will never tell the truth even if they crush his balls. But really, what I admire from Tiger is the admittance of his transgressions. You cannot hide the truth even a smelly fish you placed into a container surrounded by concrete cement it will be discovered eventually. So those hubbies out there reading this post better to make confession with your wife before somebody else will..hahaha! Me? I would prefer to be a lucky bastard!

What can I say? Well, I hope in the end they will still be together living in harmony. His spouse, Elin Nordegren has turned 30 last January 1…so happy New Year Elin! I hope you did enjoy the celebration despite of the scandal.

The good thing if you look at the bright side of Tiger, he proved that he is really a man. It might become even worse if we found out that he has an affair with Adam Lambert or Elton John, don’t you think? Kidding aside, despite of the scandal I still admire him for being true to himself and his courage to disclose to public about his love affair with another woman. I think that prior to his admittance he readied himself to lose commercial endorsements and the possibility of losing his own beautiful Swedish-American wife. Surely he will miss Swedish massage!